The Hammer
The hammer shatters glass but forges steel.~ Russian Proverb
The hammer is subjective. The truth lies in whether you want to be the glass or the steel. Today my hammer is time as I recently had my forty fourth birthday. Not because I fear getting older but more so I want to embrace this time in my life. This all started several months ago as I sat on the couch stuffed from eating dinner, incognizant and unresponsive from fatigue. It was the direct result of a habitual home life, an excessive workload and responsibilities also known as life. I remember taking it all in and being disgusted with myself. In what I was becoming; middle aged. The term middle aged is not about a number but a mindset. I always saw it as a resignation to how life was, all responsibility all the time. Now in no way, shape or form am I advocating anyone to abandon their responsibilities but to save yourself first. Would you rather be the worker ant who mindlessly drones to and fro or the honeybee who haphazardly flies around pollinating flowers and collecting nectar for the production of honey.
I'm guessing that this is the point in life where men have their midlife crisis. Over compensating for a hole left by adulthood with a series of bad decisions. Which is what I could've done. But the thought of picking up the pieces in the wake of destruction left behind by a short term solution didn't seem too appealing. My answer to averting this crisis was to simply start a renaissance period of my life. This site and the fact that I'm writing was a direct result of this renaissance. Still before writing I needed to take care of myself. I sat alone with earbuds on playing Japanese flute music and meditated. I cleared my mind and visualized the changes I wanted to make. The music continued to play as I resigned my self to the task ahead. I sat still long after the music stopped. As I opened my eyes I felt a new resolve. I was ready to forge the steel.